Don’t blow your top …
Getting angry too easily is
unhealthy. It increases stress levels and negatively impacts your relationships
with family and friends.
All of us get angry occasionally; we
yell, we swear, we may even punch a wall in extreme situations. But if you lose
your temper frequently, perhaps you have a short fuse. Recognizing an anger
management problem is a giant step in controlling it. Understanding Anger
When judging other people, it's easy
to attribute their short fuse to their character, personality or upbringing.
Looking at ourselves, however, we see that despite family history,
circumstances of birth or life experiences, anger is simply a learned behavior
that can be un-learned. You can take action against your anger issues and
become healthier and happier in the process. Here are some tips that might
help.
Ask 10 people what makes them really angry and you'll get different
answers. For some, it's entirely situational: being stuck in traffic, facing long lineups at the checkout. Other people's stupidity is a trigger for
some —the fast food employee who ignores your
request to hold the mustard. Others are irritated by people with belligerent,
in-your-face attitudes. What
sets you off? It's important to assess your own"hot buttons" and recognize what
triggers your anger.
Understand
Your Reactions
Once you know what makes you angry,
try to analyze why. Your frustration at " traffic delays may actually be
disappointment with yourself for leaving late or annoyance at having to run that
errand. The best advice on dealing with anger — and on handling interpersonal
relationships in general — is that you cannot control other people's actions, You can only control your own.
Eliminate Risks
There's a major difference between
being passionate about some things and snapping at everything. If you're under
pressure at home or work, steer clear of situations or people that might push
you to the brink. Drinking may also contribute to the problem and cause an
inappropriate reaction.
Try to eliminate the types of problems that might put you at
risk of an over- the-top reaction.
Get A Grip
Try to be objective. When you find
yourself tensing up and angry words and actions seem imminent, refocus on the
big picture.
Unless you really enjoy being a
control freak, lighten up on your expectations about how other people should
behave. If someone cuts you off in traffic or does some other idiotic thing
that makes you really angry, let it go.
Ask yourself if it's really worth
getting worked up over; chances are that it's not.
Exercise
Exercise
Be active, go to the gym, play some
sports — do anything that increases your physical activity and oxygen intake. It will lower your stress and
reduce the risk of irrational rage.
Take A Break
Give yourself a few minutes to calm
down and
de-stress. Like the old saying goes: "when angry, count to 10; when very angry,
count to 100." Breathe. Laugh'. Take a walk. Listen to music. Concentrate
on your action plan for an upcoming work assignment.
Focus on what you need to buy for
your next home improvement project or plan where you want to spend your next
vacation. Take A Chill Pill
The next time you find yourself
getting worked up over something, understand what's behind your anger. Gain
perspective, distance yourself and be objective.
Even if you have a short fuse, you
can teach yourself how to extinguish it and even learn how to avoid igniting
it. Maintain
control of your angry reactions and you'll reduce your stress and improve your
health and well-being.
Communicate
If you continually try to overlook
behavior and actions that irritate you, your frustration level will build up
over time and you may find yourself blowing your top at a seemingly
inconsequential comment or situation. Talk with your partner, friend or colleague before the
problems or issues push you to the limit.
Share your frustrations, as calmly
and rationally as you can, with your "go-to guy" (that best buddy who'll listen and
not judge)
Be Flexible
Allow yourself more time to do
things; leave earlier for the airport or the office, and avoid scheduling
things too close together. Create
a "Plan B" for situations that might not work out the way you expect.
Be Patient
Put yourself in the other person's
shoes. You cannot know the circumstances that preceded your encounter with the
obnoxious
flight attendant and you don't know why the phone company rep was
doing such a perfect imitation of Freddy Krueger. Take the high road, be a gentleman
and try to be patient.
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